Take a Doula Training, Change the World

Nov 9, 2016 by

take-a-doulatrainingchange-theworldAlmost ten years ago I noticed many happy participants at the end of trainings but few people actually went on to become doulas. Being a researcher I decided to do a study, which was recently published as “What Motivates People To Take Birth Doula Trainings?” in the Journal of Perinatal Education, Summer 2016, Vol 25, No. 3. While I can’t repeat what was written for JPE because of copyright restrictions, the blog allows me to explore the findings of this research project in a more intimate way. This first post covers people’s desire for social change by taking open birth doula trainings; part two will focus on professional motivations; and part three will focus on personal reasons.

From 1997 to 2007, most people came to my workshops to become doulas. They traveled hundreds of miles and most people set up practices or attended births in some way. Sprinkled in were attendees who’d had difficult births or were from related occupations. By 2008 I was convinced there was something else going on – why did it feel that fewer people were headed down a doula path?

So, for three trainings I used my own participants for a pilot study. I had people brainstorm all the reasons why they were there until I stopped reading anything new. There were 18 unique reasons. Dang! Now, I wondered how popular each one was, and if this trend was happening outside Wisconsin. I tested on my own workshops again by making a survey to complete before the workshop began. I did that for a year, refined the survey, and then decided a wider investigation was possible.

Next dilemma: Who would volunteer to distribute the survey, and be committed enough to do it correctly? How could I get a diverse enough group in order to generalize any findings? I turned to other DONA International doula trainers, who were willing to implement my persnickety procedures so that everyone was doing the same thing. I am grateful to the many trainers who helped. In the end, the survey was answered by 473 people who took one of 46 DONA birth doula workshops offered by 38 different trainers in 18 U.S. states and 3 Canadian provinces. Data was collected in Oct-Dec or Jan in 2010/11 and 2013.

What I suspected all along was true: people were attending for many reasons and career advancement was clearly important to most attendees. But the proportion is what surprised me. No matter which statistic I cite from the study, what emerged is that only about half the people in those trainings were there with the intention of becoming a birth doula with their own independent practice. And only an additional small percentage intended to become a doula in another setting, such as volunteering or working for a hospital or other program. Remember, this is for trainings where registration is open to anyone[i]. I thought it would be about 70%, but here it was at less than 50%.

The Survey: First I had people choose ALL their reasons for attending from the list of 18 reasons (ALL). Next, they had to choose their top five reasons and rank them in order. Then I could compare what reasons were popular with ones that remained important. “Becoming a birth doula” only ranked for about half the people whether I was looking at all the reasons (tied for third place), the top 5 reason, two 2 or even #1. So why else were people there?

By far the main reason all people were taking a doula training was for social enrichment, not for any professional or personal reasons. “Increase my birth knowledge” was chosen by 74% in ALL, was in the top 5 for 65% and the top 2 for 37% of attendees. This means it was the prime motivating factor.

So what, Amy? Duh. That was my first reaction.

However, when I examined this issue more deeply its significance became clear. It means people are seeking out real knowledge about birth – learned knowledge from those who have been sitting with birthing people during their whole labors, over and over again. People gave up two to three days of their lives to acquire it! This means doulas’ views of birth are spreading. Birth doula workshops are often accessible, welcoming and oxytocin inspiring. Pregnancy and birth are powerful and meaningful to us. We’re attracting people who want this knowledge, and whether or not they actually use it doesn’t matter. Why? Because it changes the conversation about birth in the general public. The doula training has become a medium for transmitting a powerful vision of birth as a laboring person-centered and/or woman-centered one that deserves support.

This interpretation was strengthened by the popularity of two other reasons: “knowledgeably discuss birth issues with all women” (tied for #3 with becoming a birth doula in ALL motivations, and ranking 6th in people’s top 5 reasons), and “want to be around women who believe in women’s bodies and ability to birth” (#2 in ALL motivations, and #4 in the top 5).

This strong desire for inspiration and enrichment was not focused on the individual, but to “help women have better births (not as a doula or birth professional) (#10 in ALL, and #11 in the top 5). In other words, when analyzed as a separate group people who didn’t want to become birth doulas wanted to understand birth more comprehensively and from a perspective they couldn’t get from a book. They wanted hands-on learning but also to comprehend birth by focusing on the needs of the individual persons who are laboring and being born. Doulas put the persons at the center, not the process of birthing, and this is very different from other perspectives in our society. Even midwives need to pay equal attention to both.

Every birth is a symphony of social forces: majority culture values, neighborhood influences, family needs, the home/hospital atmosphere, the effectiveness of the body’s processes, and the individual wholistic needs of the laboring parent and the child. Through open doula trainings, we export the message that caring is a skill, it is not innate or inborn simply because of gender, and it is a skill that can be learned. We also emphasize meeting the needs of the individual over the system the person is birthing in, which is contrary to institutional values.

These messages are revolutionary and have already created social change simply by being enacted by doulas for the last thirty years. As more people grow to see birth the way doulas do, the demands they make on our institutions to humanize and be more rewarding and supportive places for staff to work will change, along with positive results for mothers and babies. The change has to be comprehensive – not just for patients but also for those who care for them. Doula trainings have become another significant medium in our modern society for the message that caring for individuals needs to be placed front and center in our birthing institutions.

 

[i] These results likely apply to other face to face trainings where general knowledge is emphasized. However they probably do not apply to workshops where a substantial part of the curriculum is devoted to a specific interest, especially if that is the reason people sign up. (Ex: shared religious beliefs about birth, a particular method of labor coping, or a desire to build a financially successful doula business).

This is Part One in a three part series about what motivates people to attend birth doula trainings.

 

read more

Hospital Agreements: An Opportunity For Engagement [Part II]

Jul 24, 2016 by

HospitalDoulaAgreementsAnOpportunity For Engagement (1) copyIf a doula agreement is being waved in front of you, congratulations! It means that your doula community has gotten too large to ignore and is having enough of an impact that the hospital wants to exert some control. Now the real work begins, not with clients, but with the institutions where our clients are choosing to birth. You have an opportunity to create a collaborative atmosphere even if their actions seem hostile at the moment. This is politics, system change, and social change happening in your neighborhood, and I hope to give you concrete suggestions to co-create a synergistic relationship – even if it seems impossible now.

Keep the focus on your long term goal: an open channel of communication between this hospital and the doula community. Your goal is not to get the hospital to eradicate the agreement but to build understanding and strong reliable communication channels between two groups of people. You are using the proffered agreement as an opportunity for greater connection, understanding and dialogue between the people most affected by it. It’s imperative that the doulas who are approaching this conflict negotiation realize that attacking the hospital’s solution, the agreement, is counterproductive.[1] Anytime you openly criticize something, you make that person defensive about it and more entrenched that they are right. Instead, you have to put the emphasis on the conflict and your mutual interest in resolving it. If you focus on the agreement and what’s ‘wrong’ with it, you will get into a power struggle and doulas will likely lose. If not this issue, how you handle this will set a precedent for communicating about any future conflicts. Sorry to increase the tension, but this is an influential time and needs to be recognized as such.

So what can doulas do?

  1. First, have a leadership committee of the people who have the best communication skills as well as doula experience. Prepare yourselves. Read simple books on negotiation and conflict resolution (see below), or see what community or internet resources are available for continuing education. Being prepared and having skills will give you more confidence – but don’t wait too long.
  2. Contact the people in charge and set up a meeting. Make it clear that your goal is to generate solutions to their problem, and not to deny that a problem exists. Explain your perspective is rooted in concern for the long term health of the hospital’s relationship with its future patients and future doulas, and an ongoing relationship with open communication can work to both of your benefits. Doulas are not going to disappear, and trying to exert power over the doula community without seeking to get to know them will not work in the hospital’s favor. Someone in that problem solving group knows that, but their voice may have been drowned out by others. Doulas, there are allies in that hospital, and you will need to find them. Hopefully, you will also cultivate new ones through your sincerity and focusing on the long term goals. This will be harder to do if the atmosphere is hostile or the agreement is written in a way that delegitimizes a doula’s contributions to maternal-infant health or seeks to restrict the doula’s access to a client. However it isn’t impossible. Remember, they don’t understand our values or our role and you can change this over time.
  1. Be gently persistent until you get a meeting. State that you don’t want to get rid of their agreement proposal, but seek to find additional ways for their needs to get met. Do they want someone to call and complain to? Often what people want the most, over and over again, is to feel that their concerns were heard and met with kindness and respect. If you push that aspect of the meeting – “we want to hear more about your concerns” – it will be more effective than “we have to do something about this agreement”.
  2. Use this handout Doula Information for Nurses Sheet (initially designed for a nurse and doula conflict resolution meeting in my city) or a similar one to explain why doulas do what they do and give background about the state of the profession. Make sure you are all on common ground about doula support and what doulas actually DO and don’t do. Issues may arise as you go through this sheet together.  Listen. Listen. Listen. Even if the people at that meeting are not listening to you, listen to them. Reflect back their concerns in your own language. “What I heard you say is…”
  1. Emphasize common interests. “What we both value is…[2] Do this repeatedly as needed throughout the conversation.
  2. Ask, “What other possible ways to address this problem did you come up with besides an agreement?” This is where you’ll find out whether they fully explored the initial problem or took into account the concerns of other stakeholders. It’s possible they may not have and you can initiate it at this meeting. Ideally, you’ll be able to follow up with a small group made up of multiple stakeholders (see list in Part I) who are interested in a more complete problem solving process. Resist the urge to rely on one or two people from either group to do the negotiating or attend meetings – if one person leaves their position you’re back where you started from – without an ally.
  3. If the atmosphere is hostile or untrustworthy, it is critical that you do not allow emotions to cloud your judgment. Your communication needs to be intentional, not reactive. Don’t take bait – slurs on a doula’s past actions, a doula’s motivations, etc. Let it go for now.  Frame it as “learning about the tactics of your negotiating partners”.  Recognize that establishing trust takes time and repeated interactions where people behave reliably and do what they say they are going to do. Promise what you can deliver, not what you can’t. Set reasonable deadlines and meet them. People learn the value of a doula by experiencing you doing what you do, not from reading or talking about it.
  1. Be prepared for the presenting problem to not be the true problem. In one hospital I consulted with people were angry that doula clients kept insisting on special treatment for their newborns. Administrators discovered that while there were protocols for one hour of uninterrupted skin to skin contact in place, that was not what nurses were actually doing. Unless the doula reminded the parents and both parties actively advocated for it, usually repeatedly during that first hour, parents were not getting the care that the protocols were written to encourage. Nurses didn’t like the criticism and resistance they experienced from doula attended clients, and it was labeled as a ‘doula problem.’ However, once different stakeholders were interviewed, they discovered a deeper issue. It turned out the nurse’s workloads were so high that they felt pressured to do newborn procedures even when that interfered with the one hour skin to skin mandate. So what was initially perceived as a doula conflict, was instead a conflict between policy and workloads, with parents and babies being the losers and doulas as the scapegoat. This can also work the other way, so be prepared to listen to criticism of doula behaviors. Remember, listening is the most important thing you can do at this stagethere may be years worth of resentments pouring out if you’ve never had a meeting before.
  2. Focus on the possibility of a positive outcome. You can create collaborative relationships that don’t compromise the doula’s autonomy, ability to represent and serve her clients, and satisfy the hospital staff’s needs for predictability. In doing research for these blog posts, I found examples of several birth communities who had already created collaborative long term processes. (Please add yours in the blog comments.)

Susan Martensen, a doula and trainer in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, states that her local doula group has worked hard to be recognized as part of “The Care Team” and not as a “visitor”. The instigating situation that brought doulas and nurses together was the SARS outbreak in 2003. Hospitals sought to limit access for anyone into the hospital. Doulas in the area formed a new group to develop a standard of practice and code of ethics based on ones from their different training organizations. All doulas in the area agreed to sign the document they had created. “Two hospitals in the area agreed to regular meetings to build bridges and establish doulas as part of the Care team (and not included in the usual visitor policy),” according to Ms. Martensen. “It took several in-services to introduce, or re-introduce, the role of the doula to the nursing staff, so that we all understood the collaborative model of care. The meeting was multi-disciplinary, so there were doctors, anesthetists, pediatricians, etc, there, but not everyone and not all at the same time.”

The next step was to establish nametags for the doulas that were created by the doula group and a book at the nurse’s station that listed photos, names and contact information for the doulas. “Over time we developed a complaint process as well as establishing a system for addressing any conflicts during a labor,” adds Ms. Martensen. “It is a collaborative model that has worked well for the most part, and it is not administered by the hospitals.” They continue to have regular meetings with key personnel and doulas to provide feedback and assess their collaboration with one another. Ms. Martensen feels that the emphasis on collaboration and being seen as a valued member of the care team is what has made all the difference.

Ana Paula Markel, of BiniBirth in Los Angeles, California, USA, initially worked with a small task force at Cedars Sinai Medical Center. A rising number of conflicts was leading to a tense atmosphere, and Ms. Markel was talking to a labor and delivery nurse about it. Out of that casual conversation, a small group of interested individuals got together and outlined several steps which they have been implementing in the last year. They created a Cedars-Doula Advisory Committee made up of labor and delivery nurses, midwives, the nurse manager, and six doulas from the community who each have a different level of experience. Ms. Markel feels that having new doulas involved is crucial, since they often present a different perspective. The CDAC meets monthly, and has its own email address where people can write with questions or complaints. It is used by both doulas and nurses. Based on this feedback, they created a teach-in day for doulas, which was also attended by much of the labor and delivery staff. They did several role plays of challenging scenarios and explored the point of view of both nurses and doulas and what each thought the other “should” be doing. It was very enlightening for everyone. After attending the teach-in day, doulas received a recognition badge to wear. In this way nurses were reassured about the doula’s perspective and background knowledge.

Both the Toronto and Los Angeles doula communities were able to turn potential conflicts into opportunities for collaboration and enrichment. So, take heart! It can be done – you can create a process that benefits many stakeholders long term.  It is up to us, as doulas, to do the work and it is a task to be embraced. To have the ear of hospital leaders, even if it is coming in the guise of an untenable agreement, is what decades of doulas have been waiting for: an opportunity to create positive change in the system.

 

Here is a pdf copy of this blog post: Gilliland Hospital Agreements Engagement

[1] Fisher and Ury, Getting To Yes, p. 41 (first ed.)

[2] Fisher and Shapiro, Beyond Reason, p. 53

Fisher, R., Shapiro, D., (2006) Beyond Reason: Using Emotions As You Negotiate. Penguin Books. 

Fisher, R., Ury, W., (1981 through 2011) Getting To Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In. Penguin Books. 

Other conflict resolution, negotiation, or mediation resources may be available through a community college, university extension, adult education, or state or provincial small business support organization.

 

 

read more

Birthrape And The Doula

Apr 29, 2016 by

The (1)“At many births, while I have my hand on a woman’s arm reminding her to breathe, someone has their hand in her vagina digging around, her eyes are wide, she’s trying to get away, screaming STOP… What do I do? What do I say? How do I help make it right? I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. It seems so wrong.” [excerpt from one email among many I’ve received over the years]

Dear Doula,

I wish I could tell you that these kinds of things only happen to you, that they aren’t worldwide, that people aren’t suffering, that how one is treated during birth doesn’t traumatize a person, and that I don’t have multiple examples of this in my doula interview files. But that wouldn’t be true.

I wish I could explain what the medical careprovider is thinking or understand more deeply the processes that lead this person to conclude that what they are doing is right or that it doesn’t matter to the person in the body that they are touching. But that compassion is hard for me to come by.

What I can tell you is that the careprovider has somehow forgotten they are treating a person, not just a body. The medical detachment they learned to protect themselves has gone haywire, and so much so that they’ve forgotten that a real person is inside the body, and it is the person, not simply a medical situation they are treating. There is no detachment for the patient – and everything is experienced wholistically, meaning it affects their psyche and their spirit as well as their physical selves. Maybe the medical careprovider never learned this or maybe this knowledge has gotten buried.

But our focus needs to be on our client, on the person in the body. We are their amplifier, their voice, their conduit, when others who are caring for them aren’t listening. We are the one reminding that there is a person in the body, and that person has value. So what do you do?

  1. Be the voice. State what is happening in clear language.

“Dr. X, I hear [client’s name] saying “Stop” and “No”. Do you hear them?”

“[Client’s name], do you want Dr. X to stop?”

“Dr. X, is this an emergency or can you stop for a moment and let us all catch up with one another?”

Christine Morton and Elayne Clift, in their book Birth Ambassadors: Doulas and the Re-Emergence of Woman-Supported Birth in America, discuss the “interactional wedge” when doulas ask physicians to stop doing what they are doing and talk about it. It’s one of the main reasons doulas are often disliked by medical careproviders. (My opinion is this an asset for informed consent, which I discuss here). When we interrupt a physician or midwife, we are vying for power, so it must be very clear that we are doing it on behalf of our clients whose voice is not being heard even though they are expressing themselves.

  1. If the medical careprovider does not stop, appeal to the nurse.

“Nurse Y, I hear [client’s name] saying “stop” and “no”. Do you hear her too?”

“[Client’s name], do you want Nurse Y to ask Dr. X to stop?”

“Nurse Y, if this is an emergency, can you explain quickly to [client’s name] why Dr. X cannot stop? She needs to know this for her own well-being.”

Sometimes careproviders don’t stop because they think that whatever they are doing will be over quickly and just want to finish. Unless there is a medical imperative, this is selfish behavior because they are putting their own desire to be done quickly over the patient’s need for understanding and caring from them. Unfortunately, this is their prerogative as careproviders. As doulas we will experience a wide variety of responses to our clients’ needs for compassion and kindness from their physicians and midwives. Often the lack of it within a system is why we are hired as birth doulas.

  1. If the medical careprovider stops, facilitate the communication. Start with gratitude – really. Then help your client to gain information, preview what they can expect especially with bodily sensations, and encourage eye contact and affirming touch (if possible) between careprovider and client and nurse and client.

Your goals are:

  • To assist your client not to feel they are being treated like an object, and for the careprovider not to fall into the trap of treating the body as separate from the person inside of it (objectifying).
  • To assist in obtaining the information they need about what is happening and why.
  • To forecast what is going to happen and what sensations they might experience.
  • To re-establish a positive relationship with the physician or midwife and the client, and the nurse and the client, if possible.

“Thank you, Dr. X. I think [client’s name] needs a breather from all that intensity. Can you explain what is going on?”

“What sensations can [client’s name] expect?”

“What other procedures or people might we expect?”

“[Client’s name], what do you want Dr. X or Midwife Z to understand about what you were feeling or why you were feeling it?”

If the doctor or midwife seems disinterested, show it matters to you:

“[Client’s name], do you want to tell me more about what you were feeling or why you were feeling it?”

  1. What if it really is an emergency and there isn’t time for the physician or midwife to stop?

If the physician or midwife is really concentrating, we don’t want to interrupt them. So appeal to the nurse.

“Nurse Y, I can hear that [client’s name] is becoming really frightened/terrified (make sure you include an emotion) by what is happening and the pain they are in. Can you please get their attention and explain briefly why the doctor or midwife can’t stop?”

Use the Take Charge Routine from The Birth Partner to get through the painful procedure.

If the nurse is unavailable or busy, it’s up to us.

  1. What if the physician or midwife doesn’t stop, the nurse can’t help, and the situation is continuing? What do I do then?

You go further into what I call “trauma prevention mode”. You want to affirm that they are not alone in what they are experiencing, that you heard what they said, that what they wanted is not what is happening, and that you know how to help them get through it. If you can forecast any sensations or what might happen next, do so.

Get your client’s attention and look them in the eye. Grasp their hand, arm, shoulder, or side of their face firmly. Say:

“I’m right here with you and I’m not going anywhere.”

“Dr. X isn’t stopping but I hear your request and your pain.”

“Right now, let’s just get through this together.”

“This might get crampy or sharp before it goes away, but I’m right here.”

In the immediate aftermath, most careproviders and nurses will make some acknowledgement. “Sorry I couldn’t stop right then”, and then just go on to the next thing. For them, it isn’t any big deal. This is what I find the most frustrating – it’s as if they ignore the situation it doesn’t exist. I imagine that in their mind, that’s true, even if it isn’t our client’s reality. Whether to pursue a conversation at that point is up to your client, the situation, and how they like to handle conflict. We have to take our cues from them.

If you are a direct person, who is used to privilege and of having choices in your medical care, this might be very frustrating to not pursue the situation. But your client may feel that any confrontation may make things worse, or that they have to take what they get. Clients may be afraid of the consequences to them and their baby. These consequences may be very real, especially for people of color, immigrants, and those living below the poverty line. If you are white, or otherwise privileged it may be hard to believe but consequences for not being compliant exist.[i][ii][iii] This is hard because you are emotional too, but you have to keep in check what you would want to do. You will be leaving this client and their baby in a few hours, and they will have to deal with any aftermath.

In some cases where the doula is concerned about being asked or made to leave, it may be appropriate to go directly to option #5.  The doula who is in the room can offer more effective support than the one who has been restricted to the waiting area.  Use your skills to assess the situation.

Sometimes I find that clients are not interested in pursuing a conversation at any time. They just want to put the unpleasantness behind them. They may also have a different memory of what occurred, minimizing their experience. Don’t mess with this! The brain works to protect the psyche, and defense mechanisms are called that for a reason. They are defending against the negative impact of an experience. Often how a person thinks about what happened to them (cognitive appraisal) influences whether a situation is coded as traumatic or not. So, in the moment, they may make minimizing statements to try to soothe the chaos of their thinking – but whether that works in the long run remains to be seen. Increasing oxytocin flow by positive touch, eye contact, laughter, holding the baby skin to skin, etc, should be encouraged if it feels appropriate and congruent with your client’s feelings and experience of the moment. Oxytocin lowers stress hormones, which contribute to encoding memories as traumatic. After all, it’s still a birth! If the event really does become a source of anxiety and trauma, we can validate our client’s feelings at that time. Once again, we take our cues from them.

But what about us? As doulas we are often the ones left feeling raw and as if we witnessed a rape. I say that if you feel that was what you saw, then that was what you saw and you should seek counseling with that in mind. Your experience was valid even though it doesn’t jibe with what the medical careprovider, nurse, or client experienced.

If you have a positive rapport with your client’s nurse, you may want to discuss what you witnessed if you have some private and unhurried moments together. “It was really difficult for me when [client’s name] was crying out for Midwife Z to stop. My client sounded terrified, and then the midwife didn’t stop and it just continued. Can you help me to make better sense of this? What was that like for you?”

Hopefully you will get a good dose of understanding and some insight on the nurse’s perspective of these situations. You will get a snapshot of the nurse’s mindset if they feel free enough to share with you. I have found that some nurses feel exactly the same way the doula does, but they don’t know what to do either. Sometimes the discussion with the doula, who is an outsider, is the impetus for them to talk with the director of nursing about it.

Other times, the doula will hear a minimizing statement, “Oh, I knew it would be over in another minute and the mom sounded like she was overreacting.” Or, “Most patients wish Midwife Z would be gentler during that procedure but that’s just the way she does it.” If that’s the case, just thank the nurse for their insight and know that you’ve learned how they rationalize their way through these situations.

Note:  All my suggestions are based on my research, discussions with expert doulas, and conversations with medical careproviders.  I am steeped in white culture, the privileges of education, and being white. Please interpret my suggestions with that in mind – your culture and life experience may lead you to conclude that other actions are more appropriate or better than what I have written.  My goal is give doulas actions that are within their standards of practices as most define them – a beginning point to have a conversation, not to provide the last word for every doula.  

Is it rape? Aren’t you exaggerating?

Some people feel that by using the term ‘rape’, I’m overdramatizing these situations or minimizing the experience of people who have been sexually violated. But I don’t think so. The patient has given over their trust, their body, their life, to a medical careprovider who has a sacred covenant to treat that person and honor them. When they act in a manner that is dismissive, painful or coercive, they violate that trust. The careprovider is touching the most intimate parts of the body – places that may only have been touched by one or two other people besides the careprovider! They have power over the patient and are treating their body like an object. The patient is often lying down and is unable to move or get away. When the patient says, “No” and “Stop”, to me, they are voluntarily retracting their consent.

As a qualitative researcher, our ethics state that the person who is having the experience is the one who defines it. They choose their language and share with us their emotions and mindset. In recent Facebook queries with over forty responses from mothers and professionals, all of the people who felt they had experienced an assault during their labor used the term “rape” or “birthrape”.  Many had also experienced sexual assault or rape, and these people felt many links between the two experiences. The term “rape” has a visceral emotional component that grabs one’s attention in a way that “assault during labor” does not. That is what the victim or survivor wants – for us to acknowledge and see their experience as best we can through their eyes. These people didn’t feel assaulted, they felt raped.[iv]

Rape is defined as “unlawful sexual intercourse or any other sexual penetration of the vagina, sex organ, other body part, or foreign object, without the consent of the victim. An act of plunder, violent seizure or abuse; despoliation; violation. The act of seizing and carrying off by force.”[v]

If the person who had the experience describes it in terms of feeling their body was violated, that is an assault. If they say, “I feel like I was raped”, that counts. They may have signed a legal consent for treatment for a vaginal birth form upon entering the hospital. But that in no way gives medical careproviders, or anyone for that matter, consent to violate their person when they clearly state their wish for that person to stop.

The medical and nursing literature is full of research on traumatic birth and the role of physicians and nurses in creating that trauma. It is also full of the pain that medical careproviders experience when they feel they have been complicit with or damaged by the coercive tactics of their coworkers and colleagues. For more information, I would urge you to read chapter 17 in “Traumatic Childbirth” by Cheryl Tatano Beck, Jeanne Watson Driscoll, and Sue Watson, or access Beck, C.T., & Gable, R.K. (2012) Secondary Traumatic Stress In Labor and Delivery Nurses: A mixed methods study. JOGNN, 41, 747-760.

 

 

[i] Bridges, Khiara, (2013) Reproducing Race: An Ethnography of Pregnancy as a Site of Racialization. UC Press

[ii] Oparah, Julia, & Bonaparte, Alicia (2015) Birthing Justice. Routledge.

[iii] The American Dream of Birth (2016) Video (Free and a good watch!)

[iv] If I was working with a group of medical care providers desiring to change their care practices, I probably would use the word “assault” repeatedly in discussion – it’s no good triggering their own histories of being assaulted or demeaned when the goal is lasting behavioral change. The majority of physicians have experienced bullying behaviors and mistreatment from professors and supervisors. The idea that physicians are perpetuating what they experienced as students and residents to their patients is a valid one. https://portalcontent.johnshopkins.edu/Housestaff/Uploaded%20Files/Medical_Student_Mistreatment_at_Hopkins_BRIEF.pdf

[v] http://www.dictionary.com/browse/rape

There are several good books about trauma and recovery but these are a good place to start:

The PTSD Workbook: Simple, Effective Techniques for Overcoming Traumatic Stress Symptoms by Mary Beth Williams PhD LCSW CTSSoili Poijula PhD

In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness by Peter A. Levine

Trauma Stewardship: An Everyday Guide to Caring for Self While Caring for Others by Laura Van Dernoot Lipsky and Connie Burk

read more

Are There Enough Clients For All Of Us?

Feb 6, 2016 by

Are There Enough Clients For All Of Us-Do you feel that you are competing with every other doula for clients? “There’s not enough for me and for everyone else. If someone else gets a client, that’s one I don’t have.”  And then you try to work harder to compete and get ahead. (Or you give up.) Fearing there isn’t enough to go around means believing in scarcity.

Let’s break down that idea – Are there enough clients to go around?

From a rational perspective, the answer is clearly “yes”. According to the Listening To Mothers III survey, 6% of people in the sample had a birth doula but 27% of them wanted one. That’s a huge gap between demand and supply. Granted not all of those people may be willing to pay a doula a sustainable fee. But the doula’s biggest market is second time parents! They are more aware of the doula’s value and will pay money not to repeat their first experience. Unfortunately they did not report on postpartum doulas in the survey, but many people have had postpartum experiences they don’t want to repeat either.

From a marketing perspective, the answer is also “yes”. By profiling and targeting your ideal client, you learn that the best person for you to work with isn’t “everybody who is pregnant”. No matter how wonderful you are, you are not everyone’s best doula. It really is a select group. When you compare your ideal client to those of other doulas, you realize that you are after different markets. Of course there will be some overlap and not all of your clients will fit the ideal profile, but many will be close to the target. I find that reassuring – we’re not all after the same person but different kinds of pregnant people.

From a personal perspective, the answer is always “yes”. People choose their doula based on who they feel safe with in their gut, not on how good your welcome packet looks. (The welcome packet opens the door and introduces you.) We have no control over that decision except to be our authentic selves.

For my nineteen years as a doula trainer, I have been preaching that it never makes sense for doulas to compete with each other, no matter what organization they trained with. There’s no economic reason to do that because the market isn’t saturated. When one doula gets a client, it generates interest in the market among other potential buyers of our services. The more people we serve, the more interest grows, and more our potential market grows. Every nine months there is a complete turnover. So our best strategy to grow the profession is to support each other while also pursuing our own individual goals. Abundance is out there. The more we work for success together, the more there will be for all of us.

Every doula I have trained understands this. There are plenty of potential clients and the more we work together to educate the public and careproviders, the more paying clients we will all get. The doula leaders in our region (past and present) also reflect this attitude, and because of it we have a more collegial and supportive atmosphere in our state than in many of the places I visit across the U.S.

When we choose scarcity, we choose fear. Fear that there won’t be enough. Fear that someone else will get the good stuff first. Fear that if someone else does well, that means we’ll do poorly. There isn’t enough cake for everyone to have a piece even if we slice it small! Our bodies end up feeling tight and tense and we worry about what we can do to get more and to get it for ourselves.

Rather than thinking “not enough”, think “there is enough”. It doesn’t cost you anything to shift from a mindset of scarcity to one of abundance, except your level of personal responsibility. With a scarcity mindset, all of your problems are “out there”. The locus of control is outside of you and thus uncontrollable. But when you believe that abundance exists, your attention becomes focused on how to tap into it. You have an internal locus of control – “what I do and how I do it influences my circumstances”.

As this process advances, you’ll become more optimistic – the best is yet to come! You’re more willing to take risks and share your self and resources with colleagues. You can learn from your competitors because you are all in this together. As your relationships with other doulas grow, you can ask for feedback and help without it feeling like a threat. Babies will continue to be conceived and people will keep recognizing that their emotional needs are not being met by current medical systems. That isn’t going to change anytime soon.

What about not having enough time?

My worst tendency towards scarcity is about time. I fear there will never be enough time to get everything done; that I won’t achieve my dreams much less what’s on my daily ‘to do’ list. “There just isn’t enough time!!” Sound familiar? I’m not competing with other people for time – its not like if I get more someone else gets less. I’m really competing with myself – and I never win.

The funny thing is that it’s not true. I do have enough time. Sometimes it takes me until Wednesday to get through Monday’s to do list, but it does get done. The small tasks and the big projects do get completed, for the most part. So what’s going on here? It’s all in my attitude. Being anxious that I don’t have enough time doesn’t get me more time, nor does it make me more creative or efficient. It just makes me jittery and unpleasant. So, what’s my alternative?

I decided to change my thought. “Time expands to meet my needs.” Whenever I begin to have the impending feeling of doom – “there will never be enough” – I realize it’s all in my head. Whatever really needs to happen will and I will have enough time to accomplish it. It’s been four months now, and I have accomplished everything I needed to do.   Some things got postponed, true, but it was mostly because the time wasn’t right – and even I can’t do everything at once. In some instances my priorities changed. But what was really different was my compassion for myself and my anxieties.

Our approach to life is up to us. We choose how we want to think about life. I prefer to choose abundance.

Many thanks to Jessica English of Heart Soul Business for inspiring this post. 

As always, please subscribe!  [Box is on the lower left.]  Thank you for your support!

read more